What do you think

I feel like a little kid
Skipping across the living room
Handing my paper
When I say
You were on my mind
When I wrote this
Do you like it
What do you think
And the waiting
As he reads it
My ribs barely containing
My heart’s nervousness
As I wait for a sign
He’s pleased
But then
When I get it
When I feel his smile
And warmth radiating
I feel like twirling
And jumping on him
With more than
A thousand kisses
For his skin

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© Sara Febles

Rambling on

If I’ve said a word
About who I am
To anyone
But the one I love
Rest assured
It was probably a lie
Well guarded secrets
I keep close to my heart
No one knows me
Well enough to say
They know who I am
But somehow he made it
Through the walls
Found a way in
Despite
Locked doors and
Shut windows
In a place
Where there was only
Room for one
Now it’s just us
And I can’t help
But open drawers and
Show my notebooks
Ramble on thoughts
I haven’t worded
Talk about
Feelings
Trapped tight
Within
Name my
Dreams
To the point
They feel like
Tangible things
He doesn’t get
Just a word
He gets
The backstory
The wet blue ink
I drip as I live
And the blank pages
I’ve yet to fill in

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© Sara Febles

About how

I know now
I knew nothing
About life
How everything
Gets dark
Before you see
The light
About happiness
How you have to
Feel the tears
Before a smile
Appears
About dance
How you must
Stand still
Before the song
Moves you
About love
How you will
Get it wrong
Before you’re ready
To say I love you
With all my heart

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© Sara Febles

Round two

I wake up thirsty at night
My mouth completely dry
But it’s not water I want
I wake up every muscle tight
My body sore and sweaty
Like I’ve been in a fight
And I try to think
What was in that dream
But it’s floating darkness
Kicking at shadows madness
Running bared and bloodless
Screaming veins soundless
Until I break through and wake
Taking a second
Feeling displaced
But it’s my ceiling above
And the fan is on
This is my bed and the floor I walk on
I wash my face and neck
I stare back at myself
Puffy eyes red
Dark circles punched in the face
I walk the dark path back to bed
Staring at the sheets that fight with me
I’m so tired I feel like giving in
But I won’t let you win
I want my fucking sweet dreams
It’s round two sleep

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© Sara Febles

Stop

At what point do you stop
Feeding yourself into the frenzy
Oiling the mechanism
You’re not part of this system
There’s no need to be squeezed into their mold
Pressed under their stamp of approval
Push away from them
You don’t need their pressure
Squeezing your lungs
You are
The maker
The shaper
The creator
Of who you are
And that’s enough
To run
A system of your own mind
Create your own destiny
Ringing true to your own awareness
Of what life is made of

© Sara Febles

Snip

I have this bad habit
Of protecting myself
When I hurt
I just grab scissors
And snip and snap
At my heart
Cutting away
The dying parts
But in the frenzy
I cut too fast
Carelessly snipping
The red throbbing parts
That are still living
I snap at people
And say things I shouldn’t
Things I regret
Only a nip of a second too late
And while they’re still attached
There’s a little bit of a scar
Maybe they can’t see it
But I run my finger over
Its bumpy beginning
It’s such a bad habit
For my heart to break
I need to put my scissors away

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© Sara Febles